What is confidence?
It’s essentially self-esteem – or how we ‘feel’ about ourselves.
Have you ever stopped to consider if your self-esteem is high or a little bit on the low side?
And why is this even important?
Confidence and high self-esteem are the building blocks to a happy and successful life.
If you look at all the great people, they have learned to believe in one thing and one thing only:
Can you truly honestly say today that you believe in yourself 100%?
If you can’t honestly answer this question with a resounding ‘YES!’ then read on.
Someone once said to me:
‘The size of a person is determined by what it takes to upset them.”
And this has a direct correlation to confidence. If we allow the little things to constantly upset us in life then we’ve got a long road of upheaval ahead of us.
Now more than ever we are exposed to constant change in our lives. Technology is progressing at an incredible rate and the world is changing right before our eyes day by day.
So instead of allowing the little things, that we feel we can’t control upset us, it’s much easier to just go with the flow.
“We can’t control the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.”
Another important aspect of confidence relates to how much emphasis we place on the opinion of others. If we allow others to constantly upset us then we don’t really believe in ourselves. Because, if our self-esteem is high, then we have no need to worry about what others think. We don’t value ourselves on the opinion of others, because we value ourselves just as we are. With or without the praise of others.
This is a really important point. Because many of us unknowingly give the power of controlling our self-esteem, to others around us like our family, our friends and our work colleagues.
But if you think about it, this leaves us in an unpredictable and unstable environment where we’re constantly at the push or pull of others.
A crucial step to increasing confidence is to take control of our self-esteem.
So next time someone passes judgement on you, decide not to listen. It’s someone else’s opinion, which their entitled to have, doesn’t mean you have to agree with it though.
And this leads me to ask the question:
Who’s in control?
When it comes to your life in general, who sits in the driving seat? Is it you or is it other people or other events?
Do you find situations just ‘happen to you’ or do you feel like you have the power to create the life you want?
Confidence ultimately relates to control. And when we feel like we are in control of our own destiny, we feel confident. When we feel like we’re at the mercy of other people and situations beyond our control, we tend to lack confidence.
As I mentioned earlier, there are always situations beyond our control, but it’s not the situations that matter but the way we choose to deal with them.
The most successful people in life are those who truly understand this point – because they go out there and get the life they want. They create it themselves and they choose not to listen to the naysayers or be affected by frustrating situations in their lives.
This really is the key to successful living.
Once you realise that you’re in control, the world is your oyster.
Simple Life Strategy: 12 Ways to Boost Your Confidence
Here’s 12 simple steps you can take to increase your confidence today.
1. Get to know what’s great about you. Start by making a list of your strengths (we’re all good at something, so make sure you know what you’re good at!)
2. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Next time someone judges you, choose not to listen (it’s just their opinion after-all)
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff! Next time you feel like something is going to upset you, decide to rise above it and not let it bother you
4. Say yes to praise. Start to accept compliments from others with grace (it’s OK to say thank you)
5. Exercise. For me I find that exercise gives me so much more energy and enthusiasm, which relates to feelings of confidence. When we feel fit and healthy, we feel more in control of our lives and this builds confidence.
6. Hold your head high. Use your posture to your advantage – lift your head up high, pull your shoulders back and walk with purpose!
7. Think positive. Negative thoughts only decrease our confidence. When we are positive on the inside it shines through on the outside
8. Speak with confidence. Have you ever noticed how leaders always speak slowly and aren’t afraid to pause in-between sentences. This is the key to confident speaking. Make an effort to slow down when you next speak to someone.
9. Don’t brag. If we have to tell people how great we are, then the chances are we don’t really believe it ourselves. Quiet confidence will beat overbearing arrogance any day of the week. If we truly believe we are great then we don’t ‘need’ to brag about it to others. Let your actions speak for themselves.
10. Learn something new. When we learn a new skill we immediately feel more confident. Choose to learn something that you’ve always wanted to learn but not got around to yet.
11. Kill negativity. There’ nothing that screams low self-worth more than negative talk and thoughts about others. When we spend too much time judging others it’s a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. It’s a way to strengthen the ego – by judging others we make ourselves feel better. Instead of wasting time picking faults in other people, its much more beneficial to work on your own strengths.
12. Take control. We only get one life and this is it. So live yours knowing that you have control and no one else!
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