10 Signs Your Ego is in Control

| July 23, 2013 | 12 Comments

Ego

If you have ever caught yourself behaving in a way that makes you cringe then it’s likely your ego is to blame.

The ego can be tricky to manage – if we’re not careful it will sneak right up behind us when we least expect it, and before we know it we’re acting in ways that we know deep down are not for our best benefit.

What is the ego?

There are many different definitions of the ego, all of which can get quite complex. My personal take on the ego is that it’s the part of us that feels the need to be special. It’s that part of us that seeks approval – and by very definition it is a part of us that feels lacking in some way. This is why I know that the ego is not my friend.

The easiest way to determine if your ego is at play is to ask one of these two questions:

* Do I feel superior to others?
* Do I feel inferior to others?

If you answered yes to either of the above questions then it’s likely your ego is in the driving seat. This is because the ego is somewhat of a contradiction.

The ego is not just about arrogance

Many people hold a belief that if you have a big ego then this means you are arrogant and over-confident. There is this idea that your level of ego is relative to how much you love yourself. While this can often be the case – as I mentioned earlier if you are feeling superior to others then this is definitely your ego at play, but the ego also makes us feel inferior at times.

The ego and inferiority

Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough? Have you ever looked at someone else and thought – I wish I was as good as they are? If you have (and let’s face it most people have done this) then this is also an example of being caught in the clutches of your ego.

Being right and the ego

Another sure fire way to tell if you’re being led by your ego is to notice if you’re desperate to be right. When you’re caught in an argument what are you fighting for? Are you genuinely making a point or are you arguing to prove that you’re right? Someone very wise once said to me:

“You can be happy…..or you can be right.”

This is a great question to ask yourself next time you’re caught in the throws of an argument. Or are you willing to sacrifice your own personal happiness just so that you can make your ego happy by being right?

Simple Life Strategy: 10 Signs Your Ego is in Control

So what can you do to combat your ego? The first step is awareness – you need to start to become aware of when you’re ego is playing up so you can stop it before it’s too late!

Here are 10 sure fire signs that your ego is in control:

1. You feel elevated from gossiping about other people’s flaws

2. You find yourself in a feisty discussion and you just can’t back down until you have ‘won’ the argument

3. You constantly compare yourself to other people who you feel are better than you (better looking, more intelligent, happier, more wealthy)

4. You constantly compare yourself to people who you feel are not as good as you (less intelligent, lower status)

5. You feel jealous when other people do well

6. You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are

7. You’d rather win than do your best

8. You often sulk when you don’t win that sports game or work challenge (instead of being proud of your attempt to do your best)

9. You set yourself impossible goals and then beat yourself up when you don’t reach them

10. You blame others when things don’t go your way

 

When do you notice your ego getting out of control? Share your story by leaving a reply at the bottom of this post.

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Category: emotions, Inspiration, mind training, simple life strategies, success

12 comments on “10 Signs Your Ego is in Control

  1. your ego is at play when you feel that you have been chosen for another. i was in a midstream of choosing a cancer doctor for my breast ca. i made it known to both of them that i was still making a decision. the one i didn’t choose made an enemy out of me and the one i choose simply told me i can still ask him questions even in the case i didn’t choose him. that’s how i made my decision.

    the one with the controlled ego, gets the grade!

  2. Wow Suz, what a great test! I love how you made your decision. A Cancer Doctor with an unhealthy ego is not a good combination! They need to be only thinking of you and what’s best for you. I wish you a happy and healthy recovery.
    Love
    Zoe B
    X

  3. Sometimes being right is very important. Like when you are advocating for someone else’s care, e.g. nursing home or foster care. Disagreeing without being disagreeable is one good idea. Some people can say the opposite of what I’m saying and do it in a way that doesn’t offend me. I wish I could be like that.

    • Zoë B on said:

      Hi Benn,

      I think there’s a difference between ‘being right’ and ‘making decisions based on someone else’s best interests.’ ‘Being right’ tends to be more about the self whereas it sounds like the example you give is more about making the ‘right’ decision for someone who you are caring for. I do get your point though – it’s important for a surgeon to ‘be right’ when he is in surgery! I guess the context I was talking about what is ‘being right’ in a discussion or argument.

      Thanks for the comment ;)

      Zoe B

  4. Domingo C. on said:

    I really appreciate this article. You have pointed out some much needed attention to my self improvement. This posting has touched me in a way I believe words cannot describe. I am happy. Thank you.

  5. Rajat on said:

    Why it leaves me extremely disturbed and upset for very long whenever there is an altercation takes place with someone especially an unknown person.Also how do I control body tremor, which is very intense,in a heated situation.

  6. Adithya Bandari on said:

    As far I know I feel I am the most vulnerable beast to ego on the earth. I am extremely disturbed and I am almost neglected by my fellow mates. Would you please suggest me some tips. Mine is a worst story. My English is bad, but still I feel I am a best poet in the world. I have normal knowledge. However, I feel I am the most intelligent, more than my professors too. I hope you intelligent people ( in fact I feel very jealous to call you so) help me…

    Thank you friends!!!

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