10 Signs Your Ego is in Control | Simple Life Strategies

10 Signs Your Ego is in Control


If you have ever caught yourself behaving in a way that makes you cringe then it’s likely your ego is to blame.

The ego can be tricky to manage – if we’re not careful it will sneak right up behind us when we least expect it, and before we know it we’re acting in ways that we know deep down are not for our best benefit.

What is the ego?

There are many different definitions of the ego, all of which can get quite complex. My personal take on the ego is that it’s the part of us that feels the need to be special. It’s that part of us that seeks approval – and by very definition it is a part of us that feels lacking in some way. This is why I know that the ego is not my friend.

The easiest way to determine if your ego is at play is to ask one of these two questions:

* Do I feel superior to others?
* Do I feel inferior to others?

If you answered yes to either of the above questions then it’s likely your ego is in the driving seat. This is because the ego is somewhat of a contradiction.

The ego is not just about arrogance

Many people hold a belief that if you have a big ego then this means you are arrogant and over-confident. There is this idea that your level of ego is relative to how much you love yourself. While this can often be the case – as I mentioned earlier if you are feeling superior to others then this is definitely your ego at play, but the ego also makes us feel inferior at times.

The ego and inferiority

Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough? Have you ever looked at someone else and thought – I wish I was as good as they are? If you have (and let’s face it most people have done this) then this is also an example of being caught in the clutches of your ego.

Being right and the ego

Another sure fire way to tell if you’re being led by your ego is to notice if you’re desperate to be right. When you’re caught in an argument what are you fighting for? Are you genuinely making a point or are you arguing to prove that you’re right? Someone very wise once said to me:

“You can be happy…..or you can be right.”

This is a great question to ask yourself next time you’re caught in the throws of an argument. Or are you willing to sacrifice your own personal happiness just so that you can make your ego happy by being right?

Simple Life Strategy: 10 Signs Your Ego is in Control

So what can you do to combat your ego? The first step is awareness – you need to start to become aware of when you’re ego is playing up so you can stop it before it’s too late!

Here are 10 sure fire signs that your ego is in control:

1. You feel elevated from gossiping about other people’s flaws

2. You find yourself in a feisty discussion and you just can’t back down until you have ‘won’ the argument

3. You constantly compare yourself to other people who you feel are better than you (better looking, more intelligent, happier, more wealthy)

4. You constantly compare yourself to people who you feel are not as good as you (less intelligent, lower status)

5. You feel jealous when other people do well

6. You talk about yourself for 10 minutes before asking another how they are

7. You’d rather win than do your best

8. You often sulk when you don’t win that sports game or work challenge (instead of being proud of your attempt to do your best)

9. You set yourself impossible goals and then beat yourself up when you don’t reach them

10. You blame others when things don’t go your way


When do you notice your ego getting out of control? Share your story by leaving a reply at the bottom of this post.

If you learned something new from this article, why not share it with others.

Join the Simple Life Strategies Facebook page to get access to articles before anyone else!

Career Masterclass 1


More Simple Life Strategies:

Tags: ego,

If you liked this article, sign up for more:

26 Comments. Leave new

your ego is at play when you feel that you have been chosen for another. i was in a midstream of choosing a cancer doctor for my breast ca. i made it known to both of them that i was still making a decision. the one i didn’t choose made an enemy out of me and the one i choose simply told me i can still ask him questions even in the case i didn’t choose him. that’s how i made my decision.

the one with the controlled ego, gets the grade!


Wow Suz, what a great test! I love how you made your decision. A Cancer Doctor with an unhealthy ego is not a good combination! They need to be only thinking of you and what’s best for you. I wish you a happy and healthy recovery.
Zoe B


Sometimes being right is very important. Like when you are advocating for someone else’s care, e.g. nursing home or foster care. Disagreeing without being disagreeable is one good idea. Some people can say the opposite of what I’m saying and do it in a way that doesn’t offend me. I wish I could be like that.


Hi Benn,

I think there’s a difference between ‘being right’ and ‘making decisions based on someone else’s best interests.’ ‘Being right’ tends to be more about the self whereas it sounds like the example you give is more about making the ‘right’ decision for someone who you are caring for. I do get your point though – it’s important for a surgeon to ‘be right’ when he is in surgery! I guess the context I was talking about what is ‘being right’ in a discussion or argument.

Thanks for the comment 😉

Zoe B


I really appreciate this article. You have pointed out some much needed attention to my self improvement. This posting has touched me in a way I believe words cannot describe. I am happy. Thank you.


Good to hear Domingo :)

Well done you for deciding to improve yourself.

Zoe B


Why it leaves me extremely disturbed and upset for very long whenever there is an altercation takes place with someone especially an unknown person.Also how do I control body tremor, which is very intense,in a heated situation.

Adithya Bandari
April 15, 2014 9:00 pm

As far I know I feel I am the most vulnerable beast to ego on the earth. I am extremely disturbed and I am almost neglected by my fellow mates. Would you please suggest me some tips. Mine is a worst story. My English is bad, but still I feel I am a best poet in the world. I have normal knowledge. However, I feel I am the most intelligent, more than my professors too. I hope you intelligent people ( in fact I feel very jealous to call you so) help me…

Thank you friends!!!


I always feel that I am not being heard or not good enough. As a result, I separate myself from others because I tend to say that they don’t understand me and that I am just too complicated. In relationships, I feel like I am not worthy of being loved so I avoid them, run or just plain old freak out and so I am alone. I am just starting to understand that I have to value myself worth and by doing so I am starting to learn about me and who I am. Please give me any support to assist me because I am on my journey of humbleness and want so desperately to be happy and at peace with myself. I would like to learn how to lead by example and how I think best to do this is by first loving myself, which will make it easy for me to love others.


@coco j.
Still today, I have the same feeling of being not only misunderstood but misconceived as an individual. There has been many family members, friends, and therapist that have tried to help me become aware of “ME”, who I am, how I feel, think, act, etc. But today I can say the reason I feel, think, and act how I do, is because of the lack of attention I have recieved over the years not only that but the lack of support I have failed to accept. . . .


I used to have my ego in a good place then for some some reason not really sure how and why things changed. It has taken time to realise this but acknowledgement of this fact is freeing. I am now starting work on the changes to return to that wonderful space


I believe everybody has an ego, its just a matter of how much control you let ego get of your own personal life. I have a big ego when I’m pro wrestling…but I never forget how I got there, who helped me, and what risks they to and everyone else took just to help me. so Suz I love the test and truly believe ego only controls what you allow it to. Great test 😉


Ah yes I believe I am living this currently and I desperately need to get out of it. Every day I think about this girl in my class who has a GPA of 4.3, very social, and works a 5-10 job during the week and still manages herself unlike me. What can I do about this just ignore it or improve myself?


I get angry when my bf does not take care of me when I am sick, I then fly off the handles and start telling him all the things I do for him


Whoever has successed to control his or her ego, in Islam known as ‘ikhlas person’. Satan can’t influance ikhlas person. Heaven is already for ikhlash person. Thanks alot for this great explanation that have helped me easier to understand my vulnarable position.


Ego is one of the parts of the self in Freudian hypothesis: the sound part. The Id is similar to the child part, needing moment delight, the some piece of you that has no stop component. The Superego is the inverse, the side that tries to prevent the Id from doing this, yet is very nearly like the Parent-some piece of you. The conscience is the adjusted piece of yourself, who you truly are the point at which all parts are in offset. This is all, obviously, as per Sigmund. The saying has gotten abused after some time. A change inner Ego doesn’t exist.


“You feel elevated from gossiping about other people’s flaws”
That is such a great one, because you wouldn’t think that would be a case of an ego. You would imagine that one would be more likely to gossip about others’s flaws, but you are so right. There is this self-righteous attitude that I experience when i feel my ego take control that keeps me on the outside of conversations as if I am too good to talk about others or engage in petty discussions. So true! It’s funny because I always thought that was a strength of mine to dismiss other people talking or complaining about things, and at times it is, but I realize it’s just my false self trying to stay elevated. Thank you for this great article. I send my best to you and everyone in their journey to defeat the ego and become their truest self. What a great insight and spiritual understanding we are coming to. Thank you so much.


Hi I m in deep depression because of my ego and jealous.my g.f is going to marry a charted accountant and I tried a lot to convince her and I failures I m confusing really she loves me or not she saying I can’t go against go to my parents what I can do I don’t want to miss her and another point I am getting little jealous because she is going to marry a better person then me.Give me some suggestion what ‘ll i do.


I dont think that Im in any place to give you any advice but no one has replied and I felt that I should share my view because I was in your place 2 times before and its really CONFUSING, I understand,
but Please, Please, Please, try to SEE that everything we do, is either out of love, or its out of FEAR.
not hate, but fear. Love gives freedom, like when you allow a flower to be and it grows beautiful and you love it more to the point it dies. or you have fear of not having that flower and you cut it and kill it just to posses it. thats when the flower fails to be what you loved, cuz its dead now, you changed it, you controlled it and you took possession of it, thinking that you are loving this flower.
Human beings are given everything they NEED plus the greatest possible gift, limitless “freedom of will”. thats a great gift and its given to every single person by nature cuz it loves and respects us.

back to your situation: now sometimes ppl may feel guilty and disappointed that they are leaving their dear ones, in this case “you being left ” for what they actually want from within, in this case ” her deep down wanting to go with that marriage”. If she didnt really want to marry that man at some level, she wouldve done everything to stop it, its because she would be feeling as if her freedom is being taken away, and human is not designed that way so she would def fight for her freedom like humans have always done, even since childhood fighting over when to sleep and what to do, is a fight over freedom, which is our highest value. She is not doing anything wrong, she has her dreams which are private to her and she is deciding to go with the flow, and she is not asking anyones help so we should just respect that if there is any essence of love in us.

unfortunately this world has become a place for survival of the …. so everyone is trying to do whats best just for them ( thats their ego being afraid of “loosing” and the insecurities of life) .

first thing you need to accept is that you should give her absolute freedom to make her decision which would be according to her dreams. Hence saying of “Love is freedom ” because if you just RESPECT the ones you love, you never want to feel sorry for them and make their decisions for them. you allow them to be who they are, instead you would support them and keep loving them. because thats your only responsibility in a relationship, you should do your 50 and leave doing their 50 up to them, thats when you can find real love because if someone takes care of their 50 thats when they actually love you. just like when a dog loves you and you love him, you do your 50 which is feeding and playing and spoiling him and he does his 50 which is dancing around and licking you when you look tired coming home. if you give absolute freedom and they decide to stay there with you thats authentic love you have found but if you try to posses them by forcing yourself on them, thats not love my friend.

One main thing that you should think about, is when you say you are jealous because she is marrying a better person, There is no better person than you and there is no worst person, these are all relative, to our perception of life, so for example if it rains and you are in a suite and car was just out of car wash, thats a bad thing, but that same rain could be the best day of someones life because he found love of his life holding an umbrella and thats how they met. now the rain was neither good nor bad, but depending on your experience and knowledge, you label good or bad, he is not better than you, because if you disappear right now no one else can can replace you, there is only one of you made in this universe, you are made uniquely , with your thoughts and body and even finger prints, thats again out of universe’s immense love and respect for you and your individuality and freedom.
Before I say anything further , the most important key to remember is that if you just watch your feelings and thoughts which is the essence of meditation , all the sicknesses will disappear on its own, because the intelligence that we have will heal us on its own when it finds the sickness, wether its physical or mental. So keep meditation at the top of your list everyday. and meditation is not just sitting somewhere, its awareness of yourself.

I hope it helped a lil bit at least .


I have suspected all along that my ego is my biggest flaw. It has, above all else, made me afraid.


I feel the ego represents separation. We see ourselves as a separate self to life and that is why we compare ourselves to others. The beautiful thing is when we see the oneness of everything we also realize the uniqueness of all life forms and appreciate them at the same time.
I loved your article and also the one on steve jobs and yogananda. Have a wonderful day
All the best,


This article was like a mirror held in front of me.

Many a times you feel the ego oozing out of you, but you do not wish to name it Ego. You may point fingers at others and say they were egoistic.

Being conscious about your ego is a good idea. You can then talk to yourself and answer questions raising within you, which many a times helps control ego.

At the same time, understanding the ego quotient of others around you is also equally important. This may help us make them aware of it and come to a common understanding in life matters.

Thanks a lot



My girlfriend tells me I have an ego-simply because I wont let her take me for granted.if you don’t text me,I wont text either.love and respect are supposed to be reciprocal.i can’t fight a lost cause


We all have egos, dont resent or condemn yourself for having an ego, so first dont fight it, accept your egoistic mind, all you need to do is to watch it. watch it as it is, dont impose your ideas of good and bad on it. because that will be again the work of ego and passing judgments. watching your ego and thoughts will do the miracle. thats the real meditation. not a breathing discipline but watching your inner being .

she has her own ego too, which is the one, passing this judgment on you. you on the other hand expecting a text before you can text her, makes this merely a trade, a deal or a contract, which is NOT love,

LOVE does nOt ask anything in return for what it gives, thats what makes it love, its unconditional. our expectations are ugly, because it arises from your fear and insecurity about trivial matters such as her love being authentic or not or her being serious and honest or not, loyal or not. but Love has a different quality, which is freedom, if you give her/him total freedom to do what she wills, and you still love and respect her thats true love.


Dani. Wow, well said. that is so beautiful, “Love has a different quality, which is freedom, if you give her/him total freedom to do what she wills, and you still love and respect her thats true love.”

That really is the essence of love, our ability to freely give ourselves and share the love we have for another. It’s easy sometimes to love when we know the other person will reciprocate or receive it well. But the hard part of real unconditional love is that fact that it is without expectation. To love without knowing how it will be received is the true example of one who is rooted and centered in love.

To me that comes from one who is secure because of their acceptance of their own unconditional worthiness from others and their higher power.

To give love to those who may not receive it perfectly or feel too uncomfortable or afraid to return it is a true test of courage. True showing of the freedom of real eternal love. It doesn’t have to be romantic love, our love to those who need it is a blessing.


Hi all , hope you all well, I just realised that why my life gone so terrible from good. I have married and a got a daughter but we are now separated for some reason. I do blame my self for this one so bad . During my marriage I felt unwanted I don’t know why and I felt abandon. Every one says family comes first . I do say the same but I never felt when I was with my family this is strange. I do worry a lot, stress a lot , smoke cigarette like hell. On the beginning of my marriage I felt cool I was thinking I’m gonna treat my girl like a princesses but when the time flies I felt that I have to control my wife and I have to control everything. I’m so nerves and didn’t realise what’s happening till now. Ego got me when I got treated bad . Ego got me when I didn’t get that attation like child from my wife. If I give attation to my wife she could have give me back. When ever she treated me bad I felt so furious and I started to hate Mt self and her and everyone. To the world I was acting everything is normal can be controllbel. Mmm I don’t know where I’m standing now.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign up for free now

You get:
check_16x16 X3 free training videos to find your passion
check_16x16 Free ‘get productive’ daily planner
check_16x16 Free 7 success tips from Einstein e-book
check_16x16 Regular video interviews with top authors
check_16x16 Weekly inspiring life tips into your inbox