How to Deal with Negative People when Following Your Dreams
Here’s the thing: if you decide to follow your dreams there will be people ready to tear you down.
It’s sad but true.
People tend to project their own insecurities onto others – and I think this is the main driving force behind the behaviour.
The problem is – it’s hard enough to keep the faith when you’re chasing your dreams as it is, without having to deal with naysayers who say things like:
“Oh you’ll never make any money doing that!” or “Best keep that as a hobby and get a real job that pays the bills” or “Shouldn’t you be a bit more realistic?”
What you need to understand about these people is this;
They are simply telling you what they believe about themselves. It’s all about THEM – not you.
So if they tell you they don’t believe that finding your dream career is possible – this is just what they believe for themselves, not you.
They’re projecting their own beliefs onto you.
And you kinda have nothing to do with it really.
I’ve experienced this first hand throughout my own journey.
As my business has grown, naturally I started to get the odd negative comment here and there.
And I noticed a real shift when I started to scale (I think when I had around 50,000 people join my newsletter I noticed it the most).
I’d get a few hater emails from people saying things like ‘Who are you to teach people to find their dream careers….is this all a scam…clearly you’re only in it for the money’ etc. things like that.
The first few emails hurt like hell and I took them personally.
But upon reflection I realized a couple of things…
1. You can’t please all the people all the time
When you start to reach a large amount of people, it’s only normal that a few people are going to be negative, naysayer types. It’s a numbers game. So you just have to not take it personally. And besides, I tend to find that most of the negative types are the ones who you can never really help anyway. They aren’t willing to do the work and like to blame others for things going wrong in their lives. No point trying to convince them of anything. Best to just let them get on with their lives.
2. If you know WHO YOU ARE then the comments won’t affect you
Here’s the thing. I know who I am. I know what my intentions are and I know that everything I do in my business comes from a good place. And when I KNOW that, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says to me. These people don’t know me – so who are they to judge? If I can be 100% grounded in who I am (and have the self awareness to do so), then it’s much easier to brush off any negative comments.
3. Be proud of your enemies
Winston Churchill once said: “You have enemies? Good, that means you have stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
It’s true right? If people disagree with what you’re doing then it just means that you have had the courage to do something that has real meaning in your life! And you can use the naysayers to drive you forwards. I always remember when I was just starting to build up my dream career, I could tell people didn’t think I was serious. They thought I was just tinkering away at my blog and it was some kind of nice little hobby that would never make any money or become a real business.
I always use to think to myself quietly ‘I’ll show them…they may think that now, but soon I’ll be the one laughing!” And I used their lack of belief to fuel my determination even more. I’ve never ever let anyone tell me I can’t do something – in-fact the second someone says that to me, it only makes me want to prove them wrong more than ever! And that’s why I love Mahatma Gandhi’s quote so much:
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” Mahatma Gandhi
It’s so true.
And a lot of the people who kind of ignored what I was doing all those years back are now contacting me and asking for help…
So if you’re at the start of YOUR journey towards building the career of your dreams, I just want you to be ready for a few haters along the way.
It means you’re in the right place.
See them as a rights of passage almost – know that they are there to remind you that what you’re doing is admirable.
And more than anything, never lose sight of who you really are. Only YOU know that – never, NEVER let anyone else try to tell you who you are and what your intentions are.
Stay true to your dreams, keep on going one day at a time, and eventually you’ll cross over the line and suddenly people will be clambering all over you asking you how you did it.
Trust me, it’s the truth.
How do you deal with the naysayers? I’d love to hear in the comments below – just scroll down.
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