Yesterday I was lucky enough to attend the 2013 talk by his holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama in Sydney. Me and 10,000 other eager listeners gathered into one large arena, eager to take home a nugget of wisdom from the World’s most famous and profound global spiritual leader.

I’d like to add here that in my opinion the Dalai Lama is probably one of the most light-hearted and fun human beings I’ve ever encompassed. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and it’s this refreshing charm and humbleness that I believe have inspired many to follow his lead. At one point during the Q&As session his holiness even mentioned his dislike for too many formalities and seriousness. I have to say I agree with him!

So today I’ll recap on the most poignant points from the Dalai Lama’s 2 hour speech and interview.

The power of compassion

His holiness started out talking about the benefits of adopting a compassionate mindset. He referenced research that has proven compassion slows down the heart rate and assists the physical health of individuals. Conversely he was quick to point out that emotions such as fear, stress, anger and hatred are literally ‘eating away our immune systems.’  In-fact I recently wrote an article that goes into more detail about the research behind compassion if you’re interested in learning more about the science behind this behavior.

I wholeheartedly agree with his holiness when he said that he believes that compassion is our natural state. We are born as compassionate beings because this is what we learn from our first experiences of motherly love. If you think about it, when babies are brought into the world all they are shown is compassion. It’s only as they grow older that things like fear and anger start to creep in.

Making a difference

During the Q&As session, his holiness was asked:

“How can one person make a difference?”

This was one of the most poignant moments of the experience for me. The Dalai Lama’s response was this (I’m paraphrasing here):

“Global change must come from individuals – not large organisations like the United Nations. We have an opportunity and a responsibility to make a small contribution to a better and more compassionate world. Firstly the individual must start with their own inner peace, then extend this to the family, then to the community.”

The Dalai Lama then said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard. Something that I know I’ll always remember. He said this:

“World peace must come from inner peace.”

Wow. This was an epiphany for me. It’s funny how as human beings we can get caught up in the enormity of something as outlandish as ‘World Peace’ – and in doing so we miss the whole point. Humanity spends so much time focusing on fixing external problems, when all we need to do is look inside for the answers.

Imagine if every single person on the planet set themselves a goal to achieve their own inner peace. Imagine if that was their only goal, nothing else? World peace can only become a reality when each individual on the planet has their own sense of inner peace. And in my opinion, this is why personal growth is so important. If we don’t stop to get to know who we really are on the inside, how can we ever be at peace?

Socrates once said:

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

And I believe what he meant by this was that it’s so, so, important to stop and take time to examine whether the life you’re really living is what you want? And whether you’re being the person you really want to be?

If every person on the planet achieved inner peace, then the World would have no choice but to be at peace.

Why am I here?

One of the Qs sent in by a young 8 year old boy was:

“Why am I here?”

Wow. I thought when I heard that one. How will his holiness tackle such a loaded question in just a few minutes? But as usual he had the perfect response – and not the response anyone was expecting. With a wry chuckle, the Dalai Lama’s response was this:

“Don’t bother with these questions – simply try to be a happy person!”

In my opinion – this just sums up one of the major problems with the human race. We over-think things and miss what’s truly important. We get fixated on really big, complex questions like “Why am I here?” when really the answer is very, very simple: Just be happy!  Imagine if instead of over-analysing questions that are just too difficult to answer, each and everyone of us just placed out attention on being happy. Imagine how different the world would be!

How to avoid feelings of regret

Another great question was:

“What are the most important things I can do now to ensure I do not experience death filled with fear or regret?”

Here was his holiness’s response:

“Firstly lead your life more meaningfully and with more purpose. That means not creating problems or harming other people. So according to that nature – help other people and if possible serve them so you can be a nice person in the community. If you carry your life by being too self centered, and take advantage of others then you become a lonely person and nobody will like you. Then when your last day comes, if you remain a good human being then everybody will be very sad and you will be a great loss. But if you lead your life too negatively, harming others and cheating others then when your last day comes everybody will say ‘good news, very good, wonderful!’ So you must lead your life meaningfully then at the end of your life you will be happy.”

What I love about the Dalai Lama is his simple approach to questions that we over-complicate in our minds. What he’s essentially saying is – be a good human being and you will not regret your life. Hi holiness did then point out that it’s important to accept death as a part of life and not to avoid it. It’s an acceptance of death that can allow us to overcome our fears.

The Dalai Lama then wrapped up this question by saying:

“The most important thing is to lead your life minimally. In my own case now nearly 80 years old, if death comes tonight I think hopefully not out of ignorance, I feel no regret. I use my life as some service to others and I myself also have trained so that at the time of death I can keep my mind peaceful and more compassionate.”

This topic of ‘no regrets’ reminded me of a piece I wrote on Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse who has collated the most common regrets her patients had in the last few weeks of their lives. You can read her incredible story here: How to Live a Life With No Regrets.

How to forgive

There was this very interesting question around forgiveness:

“How do we find it in our hearts to forgive someone who abuses human beings or animals?”

The Dalai Lama addressed a really common misperception when it comes to forgiveness – and something that I hope will help everyone reading this post get past any difficulties when attempting to forgive others. The two major points that I took out of his response were:

1. Forgiveness does not mean accepting the wrong doing of the other person
2. Retaining feelings of anger, hatred and stress do more harm to yourself than the act of forgiving.

These points are really very profound. We do not literally have to say ‘Sorry’ to forgive someone – and the very act of forgiving them does not mean we have to agree with their behavior in any way. As the Dalai Lama said:

“The real meaning of forgiveness is to mentally not develop feelings of anger and hatred due to the wrong action of others.”

So forgiveness simply means we are not willing to harm our own physical and mental selves by harboring damaging feelings of hatred and anger. In which case, if for no other reason, choose to forgive, to save your own state of health.

This point reminds of a really great quote about anger:

“Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

It really is no benefit to anyone to retain such negative feelings – so the sooner we start to forgive, the better our own health will be!

His holiness also went on to talk about how if you develop negative feelings then this leads to a chain reaction of more negative behaviors that will self perpetuate and lead you to unhappiness.

There really were many more points form the talk that I could talk about in this post, but I feel that these were the main areas that stood out for me. I feel so very grateful to have even been in the same room as someone who has had such a positive impact on the world and I hope you too, took something valuable out of these life lessons.

Simple Life Strategy: 5 Life Lessons from the Dalai Lama | Sydney 2013 Event

1. Be compassionate. Remember that compassion is good for your health and stress, fear and anger will literally eat up your immune system. Choose compassion over negative feelings.

2. Find your own inner peace. As his holiness said: “Global change must come from individuals and world peace must come from inner peace”. Realise that you can make a difference by starting with yourself.

3. Be happy. Instead of grappling with complex Questions like “Why am I here?” simply focus on being happy and the rest will fall into place.

4. Be a good human being. Avoid feelings of regret when you reach the end of your life by being a good human being. Sounds obvious – but you’d be surprised how easy it can be to get caught up in other unimportant things.

5. Practice forgiveness. Know that forgiveness does not mean accepting the other person’s wrongdoing – it is simply a way of respecting your own physical health enough to not allow negative feelings to cause you harm.

I’d like to say an huge thanks to the organisers at Dalai Lama Australia for bringing his holiness to Sydney this year. You can watch the entire Dalai Lama speech from 16th June 2013 on Youtube.

Make a difference now! Please help to share the Dalai Lama’s message by sharing this article with one person you know today. Remember that global change starts with the individual.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• Wisdom from the Dalai Lama | Inspiring Quotes
• How Neuroplasticity can Improve Your Intelligence
• How to Be Fearless

 Image source: Still taken from Youtube video via Dalai Lama Australia.

Socrates was a classical Greek philosopher and is credited as the founder of western philosophy. It is through his most famous student, Plato that we are able to view the life of this great mind.

Socrates is famous for his work on logic, epistemology and a fascination with the human mind over the physical body. His belief was that philosophy should achieve practical results for the greater wellbeing of society.

He believed that human choice was motivated by the desire for happiness,  ultimate wisdom comes from knowing oneself and the more a person knows, the greater his or her ability to reason and make choices that will bring true happiness.

Due to his attack on traditional Greek values such as wealth and an obsession with physical beauty, Socrates was sentenced to death by drinking poison hemlock.

Below are a collection of inspiring quotes from the philosopher who was known for his sense of humor and unconventional approach to wisdom. Read each quote slowly and soak up the learnings from a man with a truly great mind.

Wisdom from Socrates: Inspiring Quotes

If you were inspired by these quotes please share them with others.

More from the Inspiring Quotes series:

• Wisdom from Steve Jobs

• Wisdom from the Dalai Lama

• Wisdom from Margaret Thatcher

• Wisdom from Yoda

• Wisdom from Winston Churchill

• Wisdom from Mahatma Gandhi

• Wisdom from Richard Branson

 Image source: Images were sourced from Pinterest and the authors personal photographs collection.

If you haven’t yet emailed me for your chance to get hold of a free copy of my soon to be released LESS STRESS course, now is your chance. Email me now telling me why you’re ready to lower your stress levels. 5 readers will be selected.

Here’s a reminder of what you could gain from this course…

In the LESS STRESS COURSE you will learn:

• The unconscious patterns that are currently driving your stress levels
• How to quickly identify your own personal stress triggers so you can stop stressful situations before it’s too late
• A completely new way of looking at stress that will change the way you react to stressful situations
• A step by step guide to use the LESS STRESS model including:
• How to use time to your advantage to minimize stress
• How to take control of stressful situations with one simple step
• How to shrink your problems with an easy to use technique
• How to stop over-analysis from causing you stress
• How to put your problems into context to alleviate stress levels
• How to use all of the above skills together to interrupt your stress patterns
• A step by step guide to integrate the LESS STRESS model into your life so you get lasting results
• BONUS SECTION: Interrupting Unexplained Stress Patterns

Course format: The course is in a self paced format including a downloadable workbook, plus an audio program.

EMAIL me Now to secure your free LESS STRESS course.

If you know anyone who may benefit from this course, please do share this post with them.

 More Simple Life Strategies:

• How to Stop Overthinking
• 10 Tips to Train Your Brain
• How Neuroplasticity can Improve Your Intelligence

Terms & Conditions: Promotion starts at 12:00 AEDST on Tuesday 4th June and closes at 12:00 AEDST Saturday 8th June. To enter participants must respond to the game of skill question via email to zoe[at]simplelifestrategies[dot].com. Chance plays no part in this promotion. Entries will be individually judged by Zoe B on Sunday 9th June 2013 and 5 winners will be selected based on literary and creative merit.

Has stress become a part of your everyday life?

If you’re not sure, then spend a few moments to read through these questions and note how many of them resonate with you:

• Is your mind often busy with too many thoughts?
• Do you find yourself mentally exhausted at times?
• Do you sometimes over-think things?
• Do you find yourself focusing on the negatives?
• Do you have so much going on that it can be difficult to think straight?
• Do you wish you could just switch everything off and relax?

If you said yes to more than one of the above questions, it might be time to make some changes. This week I am exclusively offering 5 readers the chance to try my LESS STRESS course for free before it launches. I’ll give you the full details in a moment, but first let’s talk about stress.

The dangers of stress

Stress can cause exhaustion, weight gain, high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, mental illness and even lower life expectancy. For these reasons I am on a mission to help people lower their daily stress levels simply because I believe no one should have to live their life with a constant level of stress.

The good news is this:

You don’t have to be stressed anymore.

Life is short and it’s not worth being stressed out! Plus what so many people don’t realize is that there is another way. As human beings, we’re not meant to be permanently stressed day in, day out. We’re not meant to be constantly worrying about the future or stuck obsessing about the past. We’re meant to be happy and free from daily stress!

The sad thing is that many of us are doing a few things unconsciously to create excessive stress in our lives without even being aware of it. It all starts with the mind and the way you currently view stress and what I’ve discovered is that we need to change the way we look at stress in order to start lowering those daily stress levels.

So, this year I have made it my mission to help as many people as I can stop stress for good! I know that we are all busy and don’t have a lot of time to devote to training or changing our lives in drastic measures, so I’ve spent some time creating a super short course that will show people how to quickly lower their daily stress levels so they can enjoy life more.

I’ve also created a quick and easy 5 step LESS STRESS model that will help people to eliminate stress for good.

Would you like to try the LESS STRESS COURSE for FREE?

I’m offering 5 readers the chance to trial this online course for free. If you would like to take this opportunity simply email me at zoe{at}Simplelifestrategies{dot}com telling me why you’re ready to take the LESS STRESS course and what you hope to get out of it. Or you can email me via this contact form.

About the course

Here’s a little more information about the course and what’s covered. I would absolutely love any feedback including which elements appeal to you the most and anything you would like to see added.

In the LESS STRESS COURSE you will learn:

• The unconscious patterns that are currently driving your stress levels
• How to quickly identify your own personal stress triggers so you can stop stressful situations before it’s too late
• A completely new way of looking at stress that will change the way you react to stressful situations
• A step by step guide to use the LESS STRESS model including:
• How to use time to your advantage to minimize stress
• How to take control of stressful situations with one simple step
• How to shrink your problems with an easy to use technique
• How to stop over-analysis from causing you stress
• How to put your problems into context to alleviate stress levels
• A step by step guide to integrate the LESS STRESS model into your life so you get lasting results
• BONUS SECTION: Interrupting Unexplained Stress Patterns

Course format: The course is in a self paced format including a downloadable workbook, plus an audio program & video lessons.

EMAIL me Now to be one of 5 lucky readers try the LESS STRESS course for free. Tell me what you hope to get out of this course and why you’re ready to make some changes for your chance to get your hands on a free copy.

If you know anyone who may benefit from this course, please share this article with them.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• How to be Fearless
• 7 Tips to Avoid Bad Luck
• 12 Steps to Boost Your Confidence

 Terms & Conditions: Promotion starts at 12:00 AEDST on Tuesday 4th June and closes at 12:00 AEDST Friday 7th June. To enter participants must respond to the game of skill question via email to zoe[at]simplelifestrategies[dot].com. Chance plays no part in this promotion. Entries will be individually judged by Zoe B on Friday 7th June 2013 and 5 winners will be selected based on literary and creative merit.

Last week I was honored to be a mentor at the speed mentoring event for Women of the World festival as a part of the Sydney Writers Festival. You can read more about WOW in my last post: How to Celebrate Being a Woman.

Today I wanted to spend a bit of time re-capping my experience as a mentor. There were over 200 people at the event and I had an hour to mentor four women who were looking for advice on overcoming their own personal challenges.

Mentees and mentors

The mentees ranged from the age of 16 right the way through to 72 years of age including students, lawyers and aspiring authors and they were asked to prepare a set of challenges in advance that they could bring to us mentors. The mentors at the event ranged from successful book authors through to journalists, politicians, CEOs and revered businesswomen.

All of the women I mentored were bright, intelligent and very capable and their challenges varied. While I won’t go into detail about what was discussed I would like to spend some time reflecting on one of the most popular questions that I was asked:

“What makes someone successful?”

For me this is a really simple question to answer. There are many, many things successful people do differently, but there is one overarching thing that is crucial to their success. I’ve seen it time and time again with every single successful person I’ve ever met or studied. And it’s this:

Your mental attitude

Your mental attitude will dictate your success. Simple as that. If you’re able to control your mind with a positive attitude, and can view obstacles as challenges, then you will be successful. If however, you struggle with negative thoughts, stress and anxiety then in my experience you will find it very difficult to succeed.

Your mental attitude will seriously get you a long way – because this is what becomes the driving force behind your success. You need to be ready for obstacles and problems and issues to crop up – because guess what? They’re inevitable. I haven’t met a single successful person yet who told me that it was plain sailing to get to where they are today. The fact is that you will need the agility and flexibility to swerve around problems and the ability to treat them as opportunities – rather than let them get you down.

Problems are the secret to success

I actually have a theory that problems are a necessary part of the evolution process towards success. This is because if you think about it – problems teach you what you need to learn, in order to move forward. Think of it like positive feedback. A problem simply tells you what NOT to do, so you can move forward and take the right course of action. Without problems how would you know how to proceed?

A lesson from Stephen King

The other thing I talked about a lot during my mentor sessions was a tenacious desire to reach your goals. As I was at the Writers Festival I found it apt to tell this anecdote about the famous author Stephen King:

When Stephen King was an aspiring writer he hammered a huge nail into his wall. The nail had a specific purpose that he believed would motivate him to reach his goal of becoming a successful author. So every single day, he would take the time to write (a minimum of 1000 words) and send off manuscripts to publishers. Each and every time he received a rejection letter from a publisher, he would spear it onto the nail. His goal was that by the time the nail was full of rejection letters, he would have a book deal. By the time he was just 14 years old, the nail could not support the weight of the rejection letters and so he replaced it with a spike and kept on writing.

What’s amazing about this story is that Stephen King was expecting to get rejected hundreds of times before he succeeded. And it’s this willingness to keep pushing through the obstacles that he faced and his strong mental attitude that ultimately led to his eventual success. Imagine if he had entertained the thought of failure? Would he be the successful author that he is today? I very much doubt it.

Simple Life Strategy: 3 Simple Steps to Success

1. Become aware. Check in on your mental attitude. Are you geared for success of failure? Do you have a positive outlook, or do you get consumed by negative thoughts?

2. Change the way you view problems. Decide to see problems as opportunities instead of negative obstacles. Remember that problems are a requisite on your path to success.

3. Adopt a tenacious attitude. Take a leaf from Stephen King’s book (no pun intended) and welcome problems! Be ready for rejection and failure and refuse to let this stop you from progressing towards your goals. If you never, never give up (as Winston Churchill said), you cannot fail!

If you were inspired by this post, please share it with others.

Do you feel blocked on your path to success? If you would like to try a free 30 minute coaching session with me via skype, email me at zoe[at]simplelifestrategies[dot]com or via this contact form.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• How Taking Action Creates Success
• Reframe for Success
• How to Think Your Way to Success

Image source: Pinterest

A few days ago I was honored to be a mentor at the Women of the World (WOW) Speed Mentoring event, as part of Sydney Writers Festival.

I didn’t know too much about WOW until Jude Kelly (Artistic Director of Southbank Centre in London) introduced the festival. Jude is an amazing woman and is the creative force behind WOW – an annual global festival where women and men of all ages and backgrounds celebrate women’s achievements and discuss the obstacles they face across the world. She completely captivated the audience with her down to earth, yet passionate opening speech and immediately grabbed my attention with this hard hitting fact:

There is not one single country in the world with equal rights for men and women

I found this statement quite shocking. I think what’s interesting is that since the feminist movement in the 60s and 70s, many of us have just assumed that women are now being treated equally, when this isn’t actually the case if you look at the stats. For example – the proportion of women in senior positions in business is significantly lower than the number of men. What’s more, if you look at countries outside of the Western world there are much more serious, overt issues when it comes to women’s rights – (such as the recent gang rape case in India and Malala Yousafzai who was shot by the Taliban for fighting for girls’ right to education). Perhaps it’s time people like us from the West did our bit to help raise this debate?

Why are equal rights important?

Jude went on to talk about the recent developments in research that put forward a powerful economic argument for equal rights. As Chrystia Freeland wrote in the NY Times:

“If you believe that talent isn’t determined by gender, race or sexual orientation, but is instead a roll of the genetic dice, then the most productive society will be the perfectly fair one. A society that is blind to gender, race and sexual orientation will choose the best person for the job — not just the best white, straight man.”

I think the important point to grasp is this:

“Fairness makes the economy more productive”

What’s interesting about this argument is that it makes the equal rights discussion of importance for everyone – both men and women alike.  If the economy is likely to grow based on gender equality, then shouldn’t this be something we all strive for?

Feminism is not a dirty word

When I think of the word ‘feminism’, for me it brings forth quite a serious form of activism and if I’m honest, almost a ‘man hater’ mentality. So I was relieved when Jude was quick to point out that WOW is not about the traditional notion of ‘feminism’, but more about ‘equal rights’. She agreed that there’s a stigma attached to the very term ‘feminism’ and that WOW is more about providing a platform for women to reach out and support one another. Interestingly WOW features several male supporters including the previous British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Actor Patrick Stewart.

Women as competition

Jude brought to our attention the dynamic of women in fierce competition with one another and how this can result in a lack of support between women at senior levels in business. Why is it that women feel this need to compete against each other instead of supporting each other? And what can we do to change this dynamic?

The role of a mentor or coach

Finally, Jude stressed the value of having a coach or a mentor. It’s these positive relationships that can make all the difference between success and mediocrity. And I couldn’t agree more. A coach or a mentor is that person who’s got your back. They’re that person who can help you think clearly when confusion and overwhelm kick in. They’re that person who will tell you “You can do it.” When you feel like you can’t. And ultimately they’re that person who truly wants you to succeed and believes in you. Personally, I believe that everyone needs at least one coach in their life if not more – in-fact I have 3 or 4 people who I would consider to be my coaches & mentors in life and they are completely invaluable.

And so from this point at the event, we got stuck into the speed mentoring where I was honored to have the opportunity to mentor four women, each with different challenges to overcome.

The common challenge

What was interesting for me was the common thread between my four separate coaching experiences. All of the women I spoke to were bright, intelligent and very, very capable; they just needed a new way of looking at things and a gentle push in the right direction. And this is what I genuinely love about coaching; the idea that we all already have everything we need within us, we just need a helping hand to find it. Look out for my next post where I’ll talk in more detail about my experience as a mentor during this event including answers to the most common question that I was asked: “What makes someone successful?”

Simple Life Strategy: How to Celebrate Being a Woman

Returning to the original theme of this post, I thought it would be fitting for us today to take a moment and celebrate being a woman in honor of the WOW festival. Here are a few short steps you can take.

1. Celebrate your achievements. There’s a perception that women can be more humble about their achievements than men – think about what you’ve achieved in your life and take a few moments to pat yourself on the back! You deserve it!

2. Reach out to another woman in need. Consider if there is anyone you know in a work environment who could do with some help? What can you do to support them?

3. Raise the debate. Make a point of discussing the issue surrounding women of the world. If these topics stay hidden under the radar, it will be very difficult to forge changes ahead.

4. Find a mentor or coach. Spend some time finding someone who you can ask to be your mentor or coach. Select someone who you believe aligns with your values and someone who you respect. If you’re interesting in working with me, please visit my coaching programs page or send me an email at Zoe@simplelifestrategies.com

5. Do it for the girls. Decide right now to dedicate your life to be a working example of a strong, successful woman. Get focused on your goals and just go for it!  You have the opportunity to inspire so many other young women just by committing to your own achievements.

What are your thoughts and experiences on gender equality:?

If this article inspired you, please share it with others.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• 5 Ways to Reduce Anger
• How to Be Patient
• 7 Ways to Beat Stress

Do you ever find yourself caught in the grasp of criticism?

Whether it’s criticism of a friend, colleague, or even someone you don’t know that well, it can be easy to judge others for their faults while we gloss over our own.

Criticism feeds the ego

When we criticize another person, we are essentially casting judgment.  And by judging, there is a tendency to make ones own self feel superior in the process. This process is usually led by the ego and in my experience, where the ego is involved, frustration usually follows.

The question to ask is why we feel the need to feel superior in the first place? Of all the successful, iconic and inspiring people that I’ve met and studied over the years, they have all shown one common trait: an air of humility. They don’t need to criticize others to make themselves feel superior, because they are already confident in themselves and their own abilities.

What does criticism achieve?

It can be so easy to look at others and pick apart their faults, but what does this really achieve? Or is it simply a diversion away from our own self-development and personal growth?

Don’t get me wrong – there can be something addictive about pulling to pieces someone else’s worst faults and negative aspects of their personality, but how is this really helping that person?

Can we ever criticize knowing the whole story?

What’s more, when we criticize others it’s rare that we will ever really know the full story. We won’t know why other people behave in such a way, what childhood situations may have contributed to their behavior and what other factors are involved. So, we’re essentially judging based on misinformation.

For this reason, it’s best not to judge at all, but instead to offer support or simply keep quiet and get on with the job of perfecting our own lives.

Criticism is essentially negative thinking

If you think about it, criticism is negative thinking in action. When we focus on the negative qualities of other people, we are allowing negative thoughts to enter the brain. The more you criticize, the more comfortable your mind becomes with negativity and the more this starts to spill over into other areas of your life. Before you know it, you’re one of those negative types and your life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you know that negative thinking is something that you struggle with, this could be a good opportunity to make a concerted effort to criticize less and train your mind to only focus on helpful, positive thoughts instead of negative ones.

Does criticism bear solutions?

How often does criticism lead to real solutions? And how often do we approach the offenders with an impartial offering that will actually help their situation? Or do we simply judge behind backs, safe in the knowledge that our own righteousness will never be uncovered?

At this point it’s important to make clear the difference between criticism and impartial observation. Criticism usually takes the form of negative analysis of another person’s behavior and is rarely useful, whereas impartial observation includes a neutral analysis of another persons behavior and often comes with solutions. Another key differentiator is that criticism carries with it an air of superiority and emotional undercurrents (such as anger and frustration), whereas impartial observation remains neutral and humble in approach.

Let’s make a decision to criticize less

I’ve made a decision this year to criticize others less and to opt for impartial observation, but only where I feel a solution can be offered. Instead I will work on my own personal growth and attempt to leave judgment of others behind.

The things is – nobody’s perfect. We all have our own challenges to work on and what we really need is a helping hand from those around us, not talking behind backs. Plus, if you have ever met someone who is truly comfortable in their own skin, then you’ll know that they practice humility and this is something far more beneficial to work on, instead of judgment.

Simple Life Strategy: 6 Steps to Reduce the Negative Effects of Criticism

1. Pay attention to the next time you find yourself talking about someone else – are you speaking favorably or are you picking at faults?

2. Consider if you have all of the information required to cast judgment?

3. Assess if you are offering a solution out of this, or are you just letting off steam to feed your own ego?

4. Are you feeding negative thoughts? What impact will this have on other areas of your life?

5. Choose to invest your time in your own personal growth instead of channeling energy into uncovering other people’s perceived faults

6. Opt for humility over self-righteousness – no one likes a know it all!

If you enjoyed this article, please share it with others.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• Wisdom from Richard Branson

• How to Make the Most of a Crappy Situation

• How to Unlock the Genius Within

When something as public as Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy comes out in the press, you can’t help but wonder where she found the courage to deal with such a challenging situation.

At times we all need to take a deep breath and find the courage within, but some people just seem to be more courageous than others. Or do they?

Today let’s take a look at the emotions behind courage and how we can take some inspiration from Angelina to embrace our own inner courage in life.

Courage is not an absence of fear

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

One of the major misperceptions about courage is that it implies a lack of fear. In-fact quite the opposite is true. It’s not that people who are courageous don’t feel fear, but that they simply choose to push through it, no matter how hard that may be.  The very act of courage is to feel fear in every single muscle in your body and to still go ahead anyway.

Courage can be quiet

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

Another misperception about courage is that it must be loud and powerful. The reality is that often some of the most courageous people are the ones who quietly keep on trying until they succeed. Courage does not equal ego; true courage is the ability to face your fears in a quiet unassuming way.

Courage helps you help others

“I choose not to keep my story private because there are many women who do not know that they might be living under the shadow of cancer. It is my hope that they, too, will be able to get gene tested.” Angelina Jolie

The courage of one person – such as Angelina Jolie in this case, can inspire hundreds and thousands of others. When we are courageous we inspire others to be courageous too. Plus courage provides a platform from which to inspire change.

When you know that your decision may positively affect many others, this can provide the motivation to push through those fears and be strong.

Courage is not winning

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

Courage is not about winning – it’s about overcoming challenges. To seek courage in the first place, we must be facing a challenge of some sort – or addressing a personal weakness. It’s through the ability to face such challenges that we develop new skills and inner strength.

Courage illuminates your own inner strength

“Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” Susan Gale

I love this quote. If there was nothing to fear, how would we ever know how strong we are?  Think of courage as an opportunity to uncover an inner strength that you didn’t even know existed. It’s my personal belief that we are all much, much stronger than we realize. So, use courage as your opportunity to prove to yourself that you were strong all along.

Courage makes you grateful for what you have in life

For Angelina, the main reason she was able to courageously push through her decision to have the double mastectomy, was to protect her family. Her love for her family was so deep that she would rather undergo extensive operations than run the risk of leaving her family behind.

When we are faced with difficult decisions in life, we are often forced to consider what’s truly important to us – and this is the gift of gratitude. It also evokes compassion for others as we make choices not based on our own selfish needs, but based on the needs of others. You can learn how compassion is related to happiness by reading my recent article: 5 Ways to Increase Your Happiness Today.

Simple Life Strategy: 5 Ways to Take Courage & Inspiration from Angelina Jolie

1. Understand that courage is not an absence of fear. Get used to experiencing fear and simply pushing through it.

2. Don’t worry about acting in a certain way to be courageous. Remember that it’s OK to be quietly courageous and it’s not all about being the loudest person in the room.

3. Consider how you can use your own personal courage to help others. What positive outcomes could you encourage in others as a result of your own ability to be courageous?

4. Courage is an opportunity to uncover your own inner strength. Look at courage as a way of getting to know the best bits of you better. Who knows you might just surprise yourself.

5. Courage evokes gratitude. If you’re struggling to take a courageous step, consider taking it for someone else that is close to you. Think about what’s truly important to you, and allow those feelings of gratitude to power you forward.

“Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.” Angelina Jolie

So today, I wonder if you could take control and pick one thing to face head on with courage? Do it now. Take a deep breath, face your fears and know that you have the strength deep down to get you through.

If this article inspired you, please share it with others.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• 7 Ways to Beat Stress

• How to Use Language to Your Advantage

• How to Be Perfect

If you have ever struggled with getting enough sleep then this post is for you.

Sleep is an essential component of a happy, balanced and contented life. It provides us with the energy we need to live life at full pelt. Yet most of us are blissfully unaware of the mistakes we make when it comes to sleep.

Let’s take a look at some common sleep mistakes and what we can do to ensure we wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day!

Diet before bedtime

Are you aware that what you eat and drink before bedtime will directly affect the quality of your sleep? Stimulants such as caffeine affect your body for up to 12 hours after consumption, so it’s important to refrain from having any tea of coffee after lunchtime. Sugar is also a common culprit for interrupted sleep patters. If you eat sugar close to bedtime you’re likely to upset the chemicals in your body which could see you waking up during the night. And lastly, alcohol is a big no-no if you’re after a good nights sleep. Although it’s a sedative and initially induces sleep, alcohol drastically impairs sleep in later stages of the sleep cycle which can leave you fatigued (not to mention hungover!)

Sleep environment

Have you considered the importance of your sleep environment? I’m not just talking about the quality of your mattress or the number of cushions you have, but also other distractions such as the amount of light in your room and technological interruptions.

Did you know that our bodies rely on ‘sleep signals’ to go to sleep and darkness is one of those signals. Even a thin stream of light coming in through your window can disrupt your pineal gland’s production of sleep hormones and therefore disturb your sleep rhythms, so make sure your blinds are closed!

It’s also a really bad idea to have a TV in your room as the mental stimulation from this can disrupt sleep patterns. If possible, it’s best to keep your bedroom as a place for sleeping and minimize mental distractions.

Sleep routines

Do you have a regular sleep routine? It’s ideal to go to bed at roughly the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning. If you’re disorganized with your sleep routine, this can interrupt your natural sleep rhythms, which can cause insomnia and fatigue. So try to set yourself a rough time to go to bed each night (one you can stick to) and a rough time to get up at each morning. Don’t worry if you have a blow out every now and then – it’s about consistency.

Long naps (and snoozes)

Long naps can disrupt your sleeping rhythms so if you’re desperate for a power nap then try to keep it under the 30 minute mark and before 4pm. Research has shown that short naps after lunch can help to restore energy levels – just make sure you don’t sleep in!

If possible I would also try to avoid using the snooze button on your alarm in the morning. The temptation may be to squeeze an extra 10 or 20 mins of sleep in, but the reality is that if you keep hitting the snooze button, all you’re doing is snatching short periods of sleep that are immediately interrupted – and this does more harm than good.

Stress before bedtime

When we’re stressed, it can be very difficult to drift off to sleep. This is because we stay up at night worrying about things that might happen in the future. Your brain won’t allow you to slip into a sleep cycle if you’re busy worrying, so it’s crucial you make a concerted effort to stop any worries before bedtime.

The best thing you can do is to think of a few things that you’re grateful for from the day and these positive thoughts will interrupt your negative thinking and allow you to drift off to sleep.

Look out for my LESS STRESS course that will be launching in the next few months! This short e-course will include a 5 step LESS STRESS model to help you lower stress levels for good.

Simple Life Strategy: 7 Ways to Get More Sleep

1. Limit sugar before bedtime. Put a stop to all late night sweet treats – if you’re hungry go for a protein-based snack instead.

2. No caffeine after mid-day. Curb any tea or coffee urges after lunch-time to avoid stop the caffeine from interrupting your sleep (remember caffeine stimulates the body for up to 12 hours).

3. Reduce alcohol before bedtime. Alcohol may get you off to sleep OK, it will however wake you up in later sleep stages. Avoid too much alcohol before bedtime if you’re keen for a decent nights sleep (plus a hangover free morning!).

4. Create a healthy sleeping environment. Make sure your room is as dark as possible before trying to get to sleep and ban the TV (and any other mental distractions)!

5. Get a solid sleep routine. Make an effort to go to bed at roughly the same time each night and wake up at roughly the same time each morning. This will help your body to form good sleeping habits.

6. Avoid naps. If you’re desperate for a nap, keep it under the 30 minute mark and before 4pm. Also refrain from hitting the snooze button as this does more harm than good.

7. Avoid stress at bedtime. Remind yourself to think of what you’re grateful for before you go to sleep. This will interrupt any negative thoughts that could stop you from drifting off to sleep.

Know someone who’s struggling to get a good nights sleep? Share this post with them!

More Simple Life Strategies:

• 7 Tips for Better Communication

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Image source: Weheartit

I have a confession to make. The last three weeks have left me feeling pretty miserable.  It all started with a lingering flu that I just couldn’t shake. And for someone who is usually very, very busy living life to the max, I have to admit that it’s been a struggle for me to deal with the limitations that come with ill health.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve said: “I just don’t have time to be sick!” And there’s a clue in the sentence right? I don’t have time. Maybe if I made more time to rest and kept my days somewhat less busy then I would have more energy and less sickness? Needless to say this is something that I am working on!

My sickness lesson

And so the last three weeks were at first a strain, but I do believe I’ve learned something along the way. If you look hard enough, there’s a lesson to be learned in every single circumstance in life. That’s what keeps things interesting right?

For me, my lesson came from my Fiance and as I found myself three weeks into my sickness (and about to freak out at the thought of not doing yoga for 21 consecutive days in a row) I caught myself lingering in self-pity.

I have to admit I had done a pretty good job of keeping the wheels on for the initial two weeks and worked really hard to practice patience and acceptance, but by the time I got to the third week that was it. Enough was enough and I finally gave myself permission to moan.

That was until my fiancé reminded me that I really had nothing to moan about. His rather brutal response to my whining was this:

“Do you have to sleep on the streets tonight?”

“No” I answered meekly.

“Are you starving hungry because you haven’t eaten for three days?”

“No” I answered inaudibly.

“Then do you really have anything to moan about?”

“No” I answered sheepishly.

“You should think yourself lucky to have such a small thing to be miserable about!” He said.

“Yep you’re right” I admitted begrudgingly.

The point is – it can be so easy to get caught up in your own story and before you know it you have blown your somewhat insignificant problems completely out of proportion and have jumped on-board the self-pity train.

We should feel lucky to be miserable

I’ll repeat it once more – “we should feel lucky to be miserable”. It’s a great point right? If all we have to complain about is a little bit of sickness, or a traffic jam, or a stressful day at the office, then we really are very lucky to have such minor things to worry about.

And if you think about it – just what is the point in self-pity anyway? What does it even achieve? All it does is make you feel worse. In-fact, if you dissect self-pity as a behavioral pattern, what it actually does is create an inner resistance, because in order to feel self-pity you have to feel like something is not going your way. Often there is a specific type of language accompanied with this behavior where we end up saying things like:

• “I shouldn’t be feeling like this”
• “It’s not fair”
• “Why me!”

What this language does on a subconscious level is create this inner resistance that actually drains your energy without you realising it. Think about it – when you are fighting something, or when you feel annoyed that life isn’t going your way it’s pretty tiring right? That’s because you are literally fighting life.

The power of acceptance

In contrast however, when we accept things as they are, we free ourselves up to go with the flow and enjoy life more. Take this one step further – and choose to feel gratitude (I am lucky to feel miserable) and you’ll find life really moves up a notch.

So for me, an important lesson has been learned, one that I’m sure I’ll need to keep working at, but one that will hopefully see me entertaining self-pity less and less and gratitude more.

I’ve spent quite some time over the last year or so exploring a lot of this thinking in my LESS STRESS course, and I’ll be launching this over the next few months, (including a 5 step model to lower stress levels) so stay tuned as I’m really excited to share this with you.

In the mean time, perhaps you can join me and start to actually enjoy the feeling of being miserable – because let’s face it there are always worse situations out there than what we are facing.

Simple Life Strategy: 5 Ways to Enjoy Feeling Miserable

1. The fact is; life will throw curve balls at you – so it’s unrealistic to believe that everything will be plain sailing 100% of the time. Accept that at times it’s likely you’ll feel that things aren’t going your way.

2. Remember to thank your lucky stars that you don’t have anything really major to complain about like having a home to live in or food on the table.

3. Check in to see if you’re resisting whatever is going on for you? If you are, realise that you’re actually fighting life and this is not a wise battle to take on!

4. Choose to practice acceptance instead of fighting your situation.

5. Take it one step further and choose to practice gratitude. Look for those things in life that you’re grateful for and you’ll suddenly have a whole new perspective on life.

If you were inspired by this post, please share it with others.

More Simple Life Strategies:

• How to Unlock the Genius Within
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Image Source: Zoomar, Flickr