Do You Know Who You Are?
It’s a confronting question but one that I believe needs to be asked:
Do you really know who you are?
If I was to ask you: “What’s unique about you?”, could you answer? Or do you know more about your favorite celebrity than your own true self?
The thing is, we enter this world alone and we leave this world alone. Sure, we pick up people along the way, we move through different careers, houses, cars and pets…but we are the only thing that’s remains constant in our lives. So, you’d think, we might be worth getting to know? Right?
The reality is, most of us have absolutely no idea who we are because we don’t stop for a second to think about these things. Instead, we get sucked into the everyday minutae of life and before we know it we’re stuck doing a job that we don’t really love, in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill us, living a pretty ordinary and uninspiring life.
If we don’t even know who we are, how on earth are we supposed to make ourselves happy? How are we supposed to know what job might fulfill us, or what partner might inspire us, or what life dream might enthuse us?
Living the life we deserve
Knowing who we are is the first step we need to take in order to start living a truly fulfilled life. And in my experience, the best way to do this is to start by finding out what we truly value in life.
When I work with people as a life coach, I always, always start with a personal values workshop because this is a crucial step towards understanding more about who we are.
Our personal values are those things that matter the most to us in life – and ideally they should drive every decision that we make. Once we know what our values are it becomes easy to make big life changing decisions because we already know what’s important to us. Once we know what our values are it becomes easy to manage our time, because we know what areas deserve our time and what areas are not worthy. Once we know what our values are we start to know who we truly are.
Our values become a framework by which we live our life and they help us to identify when someone else has stepped into the driving seat. Have you ever felt frustrated because you’re doing something because you feel like you should be doing it? If you have, this is more than likely a values conflict in action. You see, we often pick up other people’s values without realizing it and before we know it we’re living a life according to what makes someone else happy – not ourselves. This is a sure fire way to unhappiness – and one that can be avoided if you take the time to identify your values.
So what’s the alternative? Fast forward 40 years and you’re at the end of your life no wiser than you were when you entered the world. As Steve Jobs once said:
“Your time is limited. Don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
Simple Life Strategy: How to Start Identifying Your Values
I have a lengthy process that I use to help people identify their values, but to get you thinking about what your own values might be, you can try these five simple steps:
1. Consider what you’re passionate about? What things really get you excited and motivated in life?
2. Think about what’s really unique about you? What do you do differently? What do you do that no one else does?
3. When have you been happiest in your life? What were you doing? What triggered this happiness?
4. What is your dream life? What would you want to do if there were no limits (and there no limits by the way).
5. What qualities in others do you admire?
If you feel like it’s time to get to know yourself a little better, I would take some tie out to find a coach that resonates with you that can help you through this process. You can get in touch with me to find out more about my own values process here: zoe[at]simplelifestrategies[dot]com
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